4 Signs You Are Fulfilling Someone Else’s Dream
Updated: Sep 14, 2018
“You are going to become a world-class Engineer!”
I have heard this statement by my family, friends, and teachers for over 15 consecutive years. I was spoon-fed this life goal every morning of every day and every year until I graduated from studies.
What am I doing today? Living THEIR dream!
Bravo! I guess.
Have you ever had the feeling that the life you are living is NOT yours? Did you feel that your current life does not resonate with your goals, and that you are headed in the wrong direction? Did you have this feeling in the stomach area of your body? Did it last for few seconds? If YES, this is called a GUT Feeling.
Let me guess what happened just after you had this feeling… You went back on auto-mode and continued the same life which you were just thinking was not yours, right?
If you have never had this feeling in your life, it is good for you! It means that your current life matches with your goals and that you can continue lifting up your dream… Or maybe, you have not yet had this feeling and you may feel it soon (The only way to find out if you are living YOUR own dream is to continue reading my post).
This gut feeling chases a group of people whom I call “Others’-Dreams Fulfillers”. They are the people who are set on the automated mode. They position themselves at the receiving end of life. They unconsciously wait for instructions from people around them on what to do with their lives. They do not explore choices, nor do they create the will-power to define their destiny.
“Oh, so now you are telling me I am sick?”
First of all, I did not say you are an Others’-Dreams Fulfiller (When you finish reading the below four signs, you will certainly know). Second, if true you are an Others’-Dreams Fulfiller, I am not telling you that you are sick. You are normal and that’s exactly where the problem is.
You choose to follow the norm of what people do. You are not disrupting your routine with creative and changing thoughts. Your life is a clone of so many others’ in this world, who listen to the same people whom you listen to in building your dreams.
It takes a lot of courage to admit it, but I do admit that I am an Others’-Dreams Fulfiller. I have once mastered the art of making others’ dreams HAPPEN and I exhibited the four signs of fulfilling someone Else’s dreams. Below four phases are what you would most likely experience or have experienced in your life to qualify as a fulfiller of others’ dreams:
1) You signed up for an academic degree and NEVER considered changing it:
You were told to choose one and only one major in university in line with what you have achieved in high school. If you scored high grades in Chemistry in high school, you would study Chemical Engineering (even though Chemical Engineering has nothing to do with Chemistry!). If your parent’s friends were Auditors who received big monthly paychecks, you would study Accounting, and so on…
You never seriously considered changing your major. If at some point you did think of changing, your fear of losing 1 or 2 years of your life stopped you from making the decision, because you thought time is too precious to lose. Instead, you might have taken a minor to take off the pressure and the doubting voices in your head.
2) You did what others told you to do, because they know better:
You were told that whoever is older than you is wise enough to tell you what to do to succeed in life. They were there before you and they knew life better than you. You would never argue with them and would follow what they advised you to do.
If you did try at some point to question the more experienced people, you were given the impression that you were setting yourself to failure and would risk hearing “I told you so” couple of thousand times if your personal decisions fail.
3) You created a wish list and did NOT try to work on it:
When you have already studied what others told you to study, and worked where others told you to work at, you will now start creating a personal list of dreams you would like to achieve, and passions you want to pursue.
Once you have created that list, you would never work on it. If you did try working on it, you would do it once every week or so. You excused yourself every time with being busy in your 9-5 job. You did not have enough time to work on your list, because you were stuck living the dreams you just achieved for others.
4) You blamed others for NOT being able to follow your passion:
Now that you have realized you have lived your past decade fulfilling someone else’s dream, you may start the blame game. You would fill your free time (Whatever left of it) looking for reasons and people who made you reach where you are. You hope that by finding the reasons, you would be able to work things background and get your life back on track.
Admit and move on:
If you admit right now that you have been through at least one of the above phases or even all of them, I have good news for you:
You are wiser and more courageous than most others.
You are wiser because you know exactly what brought you where you are now, while others are still stuck in the above phases.
You are courageous because you admit to yourself that YOU have followed the voices of people around you, and YOU own the decisions you have made so far in your life. You know that the only reason you are where you are now is YOU.
Not only you are wiser and more courageous, but you are also deciding to be a Leader of your life. As they say, the first step to finding your way is to lose it. Now that you have admitted, you have passed that first step, and just getting started with your next steps.
It is time to have your wake-up call and start designing your own life. It is time to think about what you really want to do in your life, or if you know already, to start working on transitioning your life into your dreams. Your courage, wisdom, and leadership will guide you through the way.
If your past does not speak who you are, do not let it define your future. Admit right now that your past is not what you really wanted in your life. Acknowledge that you have listened to distraction and consequently lost your direction.
It is not the end of the world! You are just getting started with your life. You had a wonderful experience to learn from. You are young and you have many more exciting years to come. Your future as a Millennial will shape the world’s future.
Be wise! Be courageous! Be unstoppable! Let this be your wake-up call to move you closer to YOUR dreams.