• nsughaiyer

I cry every day. This is why you should too!

Updated: Jan 16, 2020

Photo by Christian Sterk

When we were children, our parents did everything to stop us from crying. Whenever we cried, they ran for our rescue and protected us from hurt.

We understood this so well that we even used it as a trick to convince our parents to get us what we wanted. We knew they were going to do anything to stop us from crying.

And now as adults, most of us do what our parents did for us ...

We do anything to stop OURSELVES and OTHERS from crying.

We've been taught growing up that tears are our worst enemy.... that they are to be avoided at all costs. That is programmed in our mind, both the "No-Crying" and the "Cry=Sad" rules.

Only recently in my late twenties that I started to allow myself to cry more.

It started for me with crying over the death of two dear friends. Then it slowly extended over time from crying over sadness, grief, pain and loss, into also crying over joy, nature, beauty, truth and connection.

It took me a while to understand why we cry. I thought it was only sadness that drove our tears.

But then as I cried more, I discovered that, most times, why we cry is much deeper than just sadness...

I came to understand that there are seven types of tears that are beautifully diverse in nature and come from different sources.

I call them the Rainbow Tears, because each type of tear corresponds to the meaning of a rainbow color.

There are seven Rainbow Tears we can shed in our lives...

1- Red Tears (Hurt/Fear)

Red tears are the tears of hurt, pain, fear, anxiety, and vulnerability.

They reveal to us what we are afraid of and not ready to face: Our past hurt, and our fear of a repeating future one.

We’ve been hurt once. We've felt its pain and have stored it in our bodies. But now, we never want to awaken the buried or go back there again.

So we wipe the tears off our face quickly and get our shit together.

We hold back our red tears thinking they will strip us from our guards, make us vulnerable, and expose us to the possibility of more hurt. The shedding of our Red Tears is the shedding of our guards and our layers of past beliefs.

(Red is the color of blood, warning and danger).

2- Orange Tears (Let-Go)

Orange tears are the tears of surrender, detachment and let go of old stories and beliefs. They are the tears of regeneration, growth and revival.

We withhold those tears, because shedding them feels like death to part of ourselves. When those tears leave our eyes, they are signs of mourning the loss and fearing the unknown future without it.

(Orange can be found in nature in the changing leaves of fall and the setting sun)

3- Yellow tears (Clarity)

Yellow tears are the tears of clarity, understanding, and comprehension.

We often witness them in "aha" and "dot-connecting" moments when we hear, read, or see something that makes us feel seen and understood.

We shed those tears when we are able to understand our stories and how we feel in ways we never thought about before.

That's why we shed tears in insightful conversations with people we trust, and we feel moved by inspiring movies, videos, shows or talks. They are signals that we are seeing our stories and the stories of others with unprecedented and full clarity.

(Yellow is the color of sunshine and clarity)

4- Green Tears (Nature)

Green Tears are the tears of balance, harmony, and synchronicity.

Those tears leave us when we connect with the beauty of nature, witness synchrocnitiy, spot coincidences, and connect with something bigger than ourselves and beyond our understanding.

We cry green when we remember our place in this infinite, balanced and carefully-designed universe.

(Green is the color of mother earth and nature.)

5- Blue Tears (Connection)

Blue Tears are the tears of compassion, trust and authenticity.

We cry blue when we witness true, deep and authentic connection with others.

Not only that, but we also cry blue when we lose or say goodbye to people with whom we have this deep connection.

Those tears are the same tears babies shed at birth, moments after losing connection with the mother.

(Blue is the color of the sky, the oceans and the heavens. It is calm, peaceful, relaxing, non-threatening and symbolizes security, trust, compassion, stability, and patience.)

6- Indigo Tears (Wholeness)

Indigo Tears are the tears of self-awareness, insight and introspection.

We shed those tears when we connect with ourselves, explore the unexplored corners within, and spot our blind spots.

We cry indigo, when we are able to see our fullest selves, witness our wholeness, and realize that we are special and enough. Those tears are a sign of fully felt humanness.

(While blue is the color of communication with others, indigo turns the blue inward, to increase personal thought, profound insights, and an understanding of ones self.)

7- Violet Tears (Truth-Revealing)

Violet Tears are the tears of magic, elevation, and spiritual transcendence.

Every time we uncover a truth, we see what we couldn't see before. We connect with a new belief or a new way of seeing the world that opens our hearts and soften our beings. Those tears are signs of growth and connection towards our inner truths.

We cry violet, when we feel ourselves going through an intangible and a strongly-felt elevation into a more special and scared being. Those are the tears that a worshipper sheds during their prayer to god, or a truth-seeker sheds when connecting with the mystery of the universe.

(Violet has a special, almost sacred place in nature: lavender, orchid, lilac, and violet flowers are often delicate and considered precious.)

All seven types of rainbow tears are honest, powerful, and magical.

The Cry Ritual

I make it a habit to shed tears at least once everyday, not forcefully, but just by allowing myself to drift tenderly into it.

Whether it's fear, anxiety, and let-go, or clarity, truth, and connection, I allow any reason to trigger my tears.

Shedding not only one, but diverse types of rainbow tears, is a sign of a healthy life (mentally, emotionally and spiritually).

There is no such thing as dishonest tears (even the forced and fake tears originally come from an honest place).

No-Tissue Rule

I have noticed that when someone cries around us, there are always at least few of us in the room who go looking for a tissue box...

Few months ago, I have created a No-Tissue Rule in my life and in any room or session I lead.

The rule is simple...

Do not hand over tissues to any person who is crying to wipe their tears off their face (unless they ask you for it).

It may appear like a gesture of kindness to hand over the tissues, but that definitely means: "Let's work together to stop you from crying".

Instead, let's give others the space to continue crying. Tears are meant to be seen and appreciated for what they really mean (And there are seven ways we can cry, or that's at least what I know).

If we stay with our tears long enough without wiping them off our face, we will find safety and unconditional love to ourselves and to others.

No matter what color your tears are at anytime, be proud and let them be.

Yours in Magic,


Reference: the meaning of each rainbow color was referenced from this source.

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