Listening to Silence
It's extremely uncomfortable to listen to silence.
When the world is too heavy, too fake, too fast, and too busy, I lean into silence (more often especially recently). I have been training myself to be in solitude for as long as I could.
I sit alone, To be alone, To escape from busyness, And to meet myself.
To see what I can't see when my small ego is blinding me. To hear what I can't hear when the world is judging me. To feel what I can't feel when my addictions are consuming me.
When I am finally alone,
I feel closer to meeting myself.
To being one with my self.
"Who are you?", I search within. "........................", it replies.
"What?", I ask. "...........", it replies.
"I am confused", I feel. ".........................", it replies.
It's as if every thought my mind issues is mirrored by a silent response equal in length.
Starting sceptical about the point of being in solitude, I often feel anxious with a higher frequency of thoughts. The more the thoughts are, the shorter are the silent spaces in between.
I feel the discomfort of getting closer to myself. Someone whom I rarely get to meet. As I stay longer in silence, I think less thoughts and observe longer silences in between.
This whole experience seems familiar, and yet often strange every time. The more I go into solitude to meet myself, the more details I spot about myself. It almost feels like meeting a different person everytime.
I know this whole thing sounds insane, now that I attempted to put my experience into words.
But, I am certain that slowing down to the speed of life is what we need especially in today's fast paced world.
There is magic in doing nothing, in silence, and in solitude.
All it takes is the willingness to shut down the noise and carve out the time and space through your life for silence.
That's what it takes to overcome the fear of meeting and getting to know that stranger.
And by stranger, I mean yourself.