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T-minus Until Letting Go

Updated: Nov 4, 2019


Photo by Blake Weyland

Conflict is difficult!


Whether it's triggered by misunderstanding, different opinions or mistreatment, conflict is necessary for any relationship to either progress to the next level or to fall apart.


Healthy relationships should have healthy conflicts. A relationship without conflicts is either surface-level or passive aggressive.


What's important to focus on during a conflict is not the nature or the magnitude of the conflict, but the time a conflict lasts.


No matter how small or big a conflict is (a conflict on which movie to watch or a conflict over money), it's important to focus on reducing its duration.


Long conflict time is literally lost time. It's time wasted in misunderstanding, false assumptions, and toxic sulking.


What helps in reducing the time is mature, honest and kind two-sided conversation with the intention to end this conflict not tomorrow, no in an hour, not in 5 minutes, but "NOW".


The longer the conflict sustains, the heavier the unsettled stories you'll carry with you. If you are heavy, the universe is unlikely to send you its gifts unless you let go of what you carry with you.


How long it takes you to go from conflict to letting go is equal to how long your old story stays with you.


The longer a conflict stays, the longer you'll have to wait for your next story to arrive to you. That means you are likely have slower growth and progress in life.


Conflict is inescapable!


But the time from conflict and disagreement to harmony and acceptance is within your control... And it is constant work to be shortened.


Sadly, few years ago, I had a conflict with a very close friend that I never sorted out. I kept waiting for the right time, but the right time never came. He passed away afterwards. Now, sadly it's an old story I am carrying with me forever and can only settle down from one side.


If you are reading this and you have someone in your life who is still breathing, and whom you are still carrying unsettled conflicts with...


Now is the time to face them with honesty and love.

Now is the time to work with them to both let go and move on.

Whether the relationship continues or ends after the conflict,

It's best not to be left unsettled.


Unsettled conflicts are old stories kept around.

Until they leave us, new stories won't emerge.


Let go of conflicts. Now.


Your next story awaits.


Yours in Magics,

Naser

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