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Why We Hurt Others


Photo by GoaShape

I don’t think anybody means harm for anybody else.

I don’t think anybody is born with evil nature.


If you look at children, they are all kind, friendly, and innocent.

But as we grow, something happens.


We get hurt.


We get hurt by people we love, people whom our lives once heavily depended on them.


The baby gets hurt the moment he exits his mother’s womb. The place he called home for 9 months.


The child gets hurt when the mother does not timely attend to their crying at the middle of the night.


The teenager gets hurt by the teacher who snaps in anger at them for not paying attention in class.


The adult gets hurt… you know, by almost everything and everyone that do not match their expectations.


I’ve always wondered why people choose to hurt each other in the first place.


The thing is, we usually think of hurt as a form of attack.


But it’s not.


It’s a form of defense.


I think people hurt each other because they keep their guards up too high. They are trying their best to avoid reliving pains they once felt in their past.


They are protecting themselves.


And in the process of protecting themselves from those pains, they are harming others.


They’ve developed this sense of caution with the sole purpose of protecting themselves, but now that caution is attacking others.


I don’t think anybody means to harm anybody. I think we are just trying our best to avoid pain.


And if we become conscious of our protective instincts and where they are coming from, we will start to slowly let go of those guards, because they are not serving us.


Because those guards are not only hurting others but also ourselves. Yes, they may be protecting us on the short term, but on the long term, they are destroying our human connection.


They are spreading pain to more people, almost making it go viral.


The more people drop their guards, the less hurt spreads among humanity and the more love we spread. Just as love spreads, evil spreads too!

I am not going to ask you to spread love.

I am not going to ask you to stop spreading hurt.

I am only asking you to observe your guards.


To see the illusion you’ve created of a continuous past that doesn’t exist anymore.


What happened in the past won’t happen again.

You’ve outgrown it.

You are stronger now.

No one will attack you.

No one will hurt you.


But if they do...

Just know that they are as hurt as you were before dropping your guards.

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